Our yard has sucked out loud for the last decade or so. We've only owned the house for 3 years, but it had to have sucked before we moved in. So over the last few weeks we have had trees removed, the yard re-graded, and sod laid. This weekend was for spreading mulch, watering the … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #107: Do some yard work

So I gained 55 pounds with my latest pregnancy. That is more than my children weighed at birth combined. And multiplied by two. Anyway, I can't fix that now, but I do plan on losing each and every one of those unfortunate pounds. I always like hearing about other people's lives so I thought I'd … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #106: Get back into your skinny jeans

Today I used my meanest voice when talking to my 5-year-old while she was in the middle of a fit about an irrational problem. This event lasted for about 45 minutes, during which time I even attempted to lay guilt on her by telling her that she was being a terrible example to her brothers. … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #105: Realize you are probably NOT the worst mom today

I've had several moments over the last week that made me sigh at my current job. And by job I mean 24 hour on-demand concierge for 3 irrational beings.I sighed when my 2-year-old yelled at me, demanding that I immediately change his dirty diaper, but who refused to sit on the potty 3 minutes earlier … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #104: Enjoy the celebrity guest star

In order of appearance, the following are all of the orthopedic problems I have had that are directly related to motherhood:Number 1:Problem--Wiggly kneecap due to overly elastic joints because of that chemical that loosens joints during pregnancy.Solution--physical therapy and lots of leg lifts in front of the TVNumber 2:Problem--Compression fracture in one of my tail … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #103: Get an orthopedist

And by bases, I mean breasts. Charlotte had ballet class this afternoon which means that I got to spend an hour in a linoleum hallway corralling my 2-year-old and eaves dropping on other people's overly personal gossip. Which is interesting, but not enough to make the kid-wrangling all that enjoyable.The baby needs to eat about … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #102: Cover your bases

According to the stories of Moses that are taught by the Jewish, Christian, and Islamic faiths, Moses spent about 40 years of his life as a shepherd. This was before the bush lit up and he brought the Israelites out of Egypt. My preacher talked about Moses this morning and gave a message that centered … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #100: Make good time

I have learned this one undeniable truth: If I do not have the phone with me at all times, it will ring. If I hold on to it, it will not ring.If I take the phone into the bathroom with me I will be that poor, sad Mommy sitting on the toilet holding the phone. … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #99: Take the phone with you

I have a working knowledge of German. And I am fluent in 2-year-old Griffin. Here is an example:"Buh, Gah. Mommy. Ameh."That's Griffin for "Dear, God. Thank you for Mommy. Amen." I can tell that because of the cadence of the words and the fact that he had his hands folded while he spoke. And he … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #98: Add bilingual to your resume

We took our three kids (ages 5, nearly 2, and 5 weeks) on a little road trip this week. It was not relaxing, but they seemed to have fun. What I learned on this trip is that we are those people who ruin vacation for others. Griffin, the nearly-two-year-old one, yelled like an angry Cookie … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #97: Take the self-guided tour