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Sally G. Alexander

Suburban Housewife

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Category: cleaning

Best Mom Tip #189: Phantom jobs

June 30, 20141 Comment

My little kids always want to help me when I'm cooking or cleaning. Although I appreciate their enthusiasm, they have very chubby little fingers and their motor skills suck.  Thus, they are not very effective workers.Every mom I know has this same dilemma. You need to sweep, mop, dust, sort laundry, make dinner, clean the … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #189: Phantom jobs

Best Mom Tip #179: Steal their toys at night

March 16, 2013Leave a comment

I spend a ridiculous amount of my time cleaning up after other people.  There are diapers and dishes and clothes and toys and school papers and hair elastics and legos and shoes and tiny pieces of paper and crumbs and goo and hand prints and beloved stuffed animals and crayons and books and flash cards … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #179: Steal their toys at night

Best Mom Tip #177: Enter the Momlympics

February 11, 2013Leave a comment

 The Momlympics are just like the Olympics except that instead of elite athletes making you feel inferior because you canNOT run a mile in under 4 minutes, they have moms competing in categories for which only motherhood can prepare you.Thus far, the Momlympics includes the following events:Schlepping stuff:  If you have ever used your mouth … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #177: Enter the Momlympics

Best Mom Tip #160: Watch your back

September 13, 20111 Comment

My children are out to get me. And by get me, I mean they are hoping that they will drive me nuts and I will forget my rules about TV watching, how often we eat out, and wearing clothing in public. For some reason, they are highly adverse to wearing normal clothes in public.I know … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #160: Watch your back

Best Mom Tip #152: Check the dryer for bees

August 12, 2011Leave a comment

We recently went on vacation and it was fun. Then we came home and I had to do laundry and that was not fun. As I pulled the first load out of the dryer, I found a bumble bee. A very dead, crispy bumble bee. It was all black and crunchy, but still fully in … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #152: Check the dryer for bees

Best Mom Tip #148: Sing happy birthday anyway

August 4, 20112 Comments

The President and I share a birthday. His 50th is front page news for some reason. My 35th is mostly remarked upon by my mother and Facebook. (BTW, thanks for the Facebook wishes, guys.) It's not that I don't feel lucky and loved in my life, but I do start to feel like I may … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #148: Sing happy birthday anyway

Best Mom Tip #147: Read this in New Hampshire

August 2, 2011Leave a comment

You know how you're supposed to leave questions blank on the SAT if you don't know the answer? Yeah, I couldn't do that. I filled in a bubble on every line no matter what.It drives me nuts when Jay leaves open the kitchen cabinets because there is now a gaping hole.In my music appreciation class … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #147: Read this in New Hampshire

Best Mom Tip #140: Cover everything in Lysol

June 12, 20111 Comment

You know what's disgusting? Children. You know what's disgusting by association? My entire life.I just scrubbed pee off of the bathroom wall. How my 2-year-old managed to get it higher than the height of his head is quite impressive and I'm sure that gift will win him bets in his teen years. But I don't … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #140: Cover everything in Lysol

Best Mom Tip #139: Repeat what SHE said

June 9, 2011Leave a comment

Have you ever seen The Office? Of course you have. You don't live under a rock, for heaven's sake. Then you've also seen Michael Scott say, "that's what she said." It's an adolescent sexual innuendo joke that Jay and I use. A lot. I mean a lot, a lot. Here are some examples:Me: (talking about … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #139: Repeat what SHE said

Best Mom Tip #125: Naked laundry. Yep, naked.

March 14, 2011Leave a comment

You know how you're NEVER done washing clothes? I run 7 loads of laundry every Thursday and another 7 when I wash all the bedding. I also have to do touch-up runs during the week when Little Princess needs a particular dress or when my baby has barfed on most of his clothes in one … Continue reading Best Mom Tip #125: Naked laundry. Yep, naked.

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