I don't really like most beers. And since I am a nursing mom, I'm not drinking at all right now. But there's something about kicking back with an adult beverage every now and then that helps you savor the moment and enjoy being a grown up. This beer actually belongs to my husband and it … Continue reading Sometimes I Need a Drink
I just bought a can of frosting. I was assigned frosting for my daughter's school holiday party. Every household is expected to help with one party a year and I dutifully signed up for this one because I thought it seemed like the time of the year that I would feel most festive. My sole … Continue reading I am pretending I like class parties
I have apparently been starving my 4 month old son. He came into the world at 9 pounds and really packed on the weight for the first two months. These last two months, however, he lost a pound. I have been breast feeding him exclusively and have been really proud of myself for being able … Continue reading I have been starving my baby
All the people. Livin' for today. You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. Maybe someday you'll join us... Wait. Sorry. I went hippie there for a minute. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but I'll do my best. I really do have an active imagination. Even as … Continue reading Imagine…
I was driving over a speed bump near the grocery store last week and my back jiggled. My back. Jiggled. I told my husband that I had back fat and that it was actually beginning to move as though it had a life of its own. He laughed and told me I didn't have back … Continue reading I pluck my eyebrows so I don’t feel fat
Becoming a parent tends to mean you lose a little bit of your air of mystery. A little bit of your sense of self...and maybe a decent amount of your pride. Suddenly, there is someone who thinks it is perfectly acceptable to demand you bare your breasts and feed them every 2 to 3 hours … Continue reading I may never be alone again.
I went into labor with my son 11 days after my due date. In August. In Atlanta. I outweighed my husband and was pretty close to edging out my brother who is a very large, very fit cop. I was swollen, grumpy, and verrrrrrry puffy. When I finally went into labor it was late at … Continue reading I choose…not to yell.
When my daughter was a few weeks old, my husband and I visited my parents who live about 40 minutes away from our house. My precious infant screamed bloody murder the whole way home. I felt like we were listening to cats being tortured or perhaps the sound of happiness dying. It was horrible. That … Continue reading Car seat? Torture Device? My baby can’t tell.
Not My Actual Feet My pregnancies have left me with a variety of odd and embarrassing physical ailments. They range from a broken tail bone to a toe that falls out of joint to hemorrhoids and they show up to harass me at the most inconvenient times. I tell you this to explain why I … Continue reading Put on your dancing shoes
It seems obvious that TV isn't real until you start to believe that you could have a life like that if you only tried harder. Sometime in the last decade the character Rachel on "Friends" had a baby. All her friends were gathered around her and there was much love and rejoicing. There were, of … Continue reading I Keep Forgetting that TV isn’t real