Best Mom Tip #171: Ask a kid what they want to be

I saw a comedian one time say that the reason grown-ups are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up is because they’re looking for ideas.  I thought it was funny then.  I think it is profound now.

I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.  I was a teacher for 10 years or so.  That was fun, but didn’t make enough money to warrant my soon-to-be three full-time day care and one after-school care bills.  So I stay home and wonder what I want to be when I’m done changing diapers and generally performing the duties of a domestic drudge.

I can’t really think of anything and that is perhaps the saddest thing I’ve thought in a long while.  I wonder if I could ever make any money off of writing something.  But then I realize you have to have people willing to pay for the privilege of reading your work for that to be a job.  Or by teaching again.  Or by finally learning how to be a contortionist and joining the circus.  I’ve been trying to grow a beard for years, but that has been unsuccessful so Bearded Lady is out.

My 3-year-old son is quite insistent that he is a police officer and continues to “handcup” friends and relatives against their will.  My daughter says she would like to be a doctor or a Mommy or a teacher or make cupcakes.  But that really just covers the jobs she knows about through life and TLC shows.

Harry, my youngest at the moment, mostly seems to want to run away to the nether parts of the neighborhood where he can explore at will and play with his ball without interference from his siblings.  I don’t think that pays very well and I cannot think of an adult equivalent.

I’m too old to join the army.  I’m too young to become a Wal-Mart greeter.  I am too uncoordinated/chubby to work on pole dancing skills.

I’m not sure what is left.  Even astronaut is apparently no longer a fall-back option.  Which is disappointing, because I really wanted to ride the space shuttle.  So please ask around.  Maybe your kids have a good idea I could use.

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