Best Mom Tip #146: Don’t take your kids to the doctor

O.k, I guess that you have to take your kids to the doctor. It’s probably illegal or something to deny them medical care. I did read an article recently about a woman who remembers being told by her Christian Scientist parents that her chicken pox were only in her mind and that she should pray them away, so I guess that’s an option.

Until I convert, however, I have to keep taking them (oftentimes en masse) to see various medical professionals. Today it was Baby Harry and the dermatologist. I don’t know what it is about dermatological diseases, but they all sound awful.
I have a friend whose kid had a rash called giovanni crosti (or something that sounds like that-I never actually saw it written down). However you spell it, it sounds like something crusty you picked up on the subway while headed to Little Italy.
We took Harry to see if he had a thing called molluscum contagiosum. Which, because I am a nerd, made me think he had been cursed by a 3rd year from Hogwarts and that clams would soon be spreading across his body.
That’s not what he has, actually, so if you were planning on coming to my house for dinner anytime soon there’s no reason to throw up.
What I really don’t like about taking kids to the doctor is that it involves a lot of intense sitting still. I say intense because I expend a lot of energy trying to keep everyone else still. I bribe them with snacks, electronic games, special toys-all in the hopes that no one will melt down until I understand what’s wrong with the sick kid.
Today, as we were leaving, a mom told her very nice teenage boy to get the door for me. The problem was that I needed to unfold the double stroller and in those moments Griffin ran out the open door and down the hall of the office building. I had to put Harry down on the floor, put down my bag, the diaper bag, and the notes from the doctor, and chase him down.
I got back to the office door just as Harry was making his way out. That teenage kid politely held the door open the entire time. I’m sure our exit made all the other patients happy not to be me today.
There is nothing fun about taking kids to the doctor. Except maybe the princess stickers.

4 thoughts on “Best Mom Tip #146: Don’t take your kids to the doctor

  1. Anonymous says:

    Actually I think Giovanni Crosti was the exchange student living next door to me in 1971 at O house at UGA–and just think, you made a teenage boy possibly think twice about becoming a parent in the near future.

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  2. Kari Mattingy says:

    I have to agree with Anonymous – you've probably done more for that teenager's sex education than anything they can teach him at school 🙂 Also, I FEEL your pain. Ty was sick for over a week before I finally broke down and dragged everybody to the doctor today. It's strep. You might be the best mom, but right now I feel like the worst!

    Kari

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  3. Best Mom says:

    I hadn't thought about encouraging responsible reproduction merely by taking my kids places. Somehow, that is more depressing. 🙂 Kari, don't feel bad. I once took Charlotte to the doctor only because I took both the boys and they were sick. So I waited until she got home from school and it turned out she had strep. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

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