Jay and I are going to star in our own reality TV show.
It is called “F#@%’ Home Improvement?” The question mark is what really sets it apart from other shows with similar content.
It will involve us beginning projects on a whim without a budget, plan of attack, or any assessment of what we currently have/need. We will always take all three kids to Lowe’s/Home Depot so that there is no way that we will be able to make accurate purchases.
We will be sure to still be working on the projects during dinner/bath time so that there is a decent chance that at least one kid will get out of taking a bath and at least some screws/bolts/washers will disappear.
We will always, and this is key, break something else unrelated to the current project while attempting to remove or install new materials.
We will continue to be surprised and annoyed that our builder’s grade 20-year-old home does not meet current standards, sizes, and codes. This is why we will never finish a project in one sitting and will always have to return again and again to the home improvement stores. With our kids. Don’t forget the kids.
In the end, we will always fall back on caulking and painting to hide that fact that we have no idea what we are doing. We are pretty good at caulking and painting at this point.
Our new show is inspired by our “new” guest bathroom. We have replaced all parts of the toilet (not part of the project since it was bought new last year–we just broke it removing baseboards), installed a new vanity/sink (destroyed the walls), faucet (pipes were different size and length than the old ones), and floor (see baseboard reference above).
If you come by our house please say something nice about the bathroom, but don’t look too closely at anything.