Best Mom Tip #70: Don’t wear holiday sweaters

Really, people. Holiday sweaters are ridiculous. I went shopping today and saw three grown women, all aged 35-45, wearing matching holiday sweater vests. One of them even had on reindeer antlers. I just don’t get it. What do you look for when you find the perfect one? “Oooohhhhh, that one has FORTY-THREE different kinds of puffy ornaments! I must have it!”

One of my coworkers had a pretty rough parent conference back in October that went on forever. I asked her if there was another teacher in the room because I saw a woman wearing a Halloween sweater and teachers are notorious for wearing horrible themed clothing. Pencil-shaped button covers, Christmas ornament earrings, even Valentine’s Day apparel all seem to be acceptable to my fellow educators. It turns out that the sweater belonged to the parent who is, in fact, a teacher at another school.
I cracked up. This woman really thought that the best way to get her points across about her child’s education was to wear a shirt with 18 pumpkins on it. OF COURSE, people will take you seriously. You look like a small child’s craft project gone awry. Or, at best, like your grandmother held you down and crocheted you.
Buy some real clothes. Give the sweaters away to people you want to make look frumpier.

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