Best Mom Tip #29: Buy nice lingerie

I’m going to be honest, I haven’t actually done this yet. But I am inspired to do so based on a comment my daughter made this weekend. I was getting dressed and she came in before I had on pants. She’s learning to read so she was intently staring at my underwear. She said, “Mommy, I like those underwear–do they say Target on them?”

I have no shame in shopping at Target and I did, in fact, purchase those particular undergarments there. But you know what is not sexy? Target underwear. In my defense, they actually say “Fruit of the Loom” on them, but I’m not sure that’s better. What’s definitely worse are the circumstances under which I bought them.

When I was pushing 200lbs while pregnant with my son I realized that all of my pairs of underwear were making marks on my hips that still hurt even after I took them off. So, off to Target for new undies. I bought the largest, most granny-like underwear in the store. They did come in multi-colored prints so my daughter thinks they are beautiful.

The main problem is that I am still wearing them often because they are the newest, and therefore least hole-y, underwear I own. But they are HUGE. I’ve lost a good 35 pounds since the baby was born–why am I wearing giant, ugly, underwear?

My mom said recently that she was o.k. when her mother started showing up in the mirror, but she has been pretty shocked lately to see her grandmother in there. We can’t prevent eventually turning into our mothers and grandmothers, but we can certainly think “grandma seems to have a sexy secret” when she stops by.

SOOOOOO….it’s time for all of us to buy at least one pretty bra or pair of underwear that really fit. And then wear them on a regular basis. We must fight against schlumpiness at all costs.

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